Vanilla

Vanilla arrived as an early bus, or a Xanax spam. You'd notice her but'd let it go and not worry about it. It was another one, a run-of-the-mill face and it came when I couldn't see straight. And so I let it pass.
But Vanilla wasn't your ordinary girl. She passed my most scornful and evil tests. And she scored grades beyond my wildest dreams. She's a fucking devilish woman and so it came to be I was in awe.
I tried to get a grip, but finally she's got what she aimed for: my will. My wildest, lewdest, naughtiest, sweetest desires. She hooked me in such a manner I couldn't think anymore. So I did the only thing an old bastard coulda: I thought. And, pondering things through, I was trapped.
Inarticulate as I was, I got in love. Yes, I was that changed. Couldn't face myself inna morning. I even had that cute stare. It was awful.
Now, let me try with my sunglasses on.
Three is a charm, they say, and three was the number I needed to come to my senses and figure Vanilla out. Now I regained my status as the cold bastard and my life is back to where it was before her. Vanilla now seems baffled cuz she can't anticipate my moves anymore. And I even think she's in love.
Then again, it doesn't matter. I've got her where I wanted her. And I'm doomed once more. Being a pirate never seemed so good.